A shout-out to all the single mums this Mother’s Day | London Evening Standard


other’s Day can be a tough day for a lot of people for a lot of reasons. Those who have lost a mother or a child, those longing to be a mother, those who have a difficult relationship with their mother. But what’s it like for single mums? Here, Rebecca Cox, single mother and blogger at The Mother Edit explains why it’s the best time to be thankful.

Mothering Sunday: the day where kids all over the country are being supervised shakily carrying breakfast in bed up to their mums, handing over cards, presents and flowers, telling mum to relax and take a bath while dad and the kids take care of things downstairs. Unless, that is, you live in one of the millions of single parent households in the UK. If you live in one of those homes (that make up one in four families in the UK), Mothering Sunday looks just about like any other Sunday of the year. You’ll be woken at the crack of dawn with a cry, a shout, a demand for breakfast. Maybe even wet sheets or an exploded nappy to attend to. The possibilities really are endless.

Your first thought on this day may be of all the mums up and down the country receiving their aforementioned breakfast in bed, their cards, their flowers. Of the mums who have a partner to spoil them on days like today and tell them what an amazing job they are doing. Of a former partner who could have taken your beautiful but endlessly demanding child or children downstairs for you so that you could have enjoyed just one simple, blissful moment of peace and quiet. But your second thought should be of the day ahead, the one that you, and you alone have control over. Make it a good one. Not sure how? This one goes out to you.

This is a shout out to all the single mums who feel overwhelmed and lost in motherhood. Use this Mother’s Day to find a little piece of yourself again. Rope in a friend or family member to have your little one for an hour or two and do something that’s just about you. Have a bath, do some online shopping, read a book. Do something completely selfish and don’t feel guilty about it.

This is a shout out to all the single mums who feel incredibly lonely. You’re really not alone at all. Join the Frolo app and find local single parents who are feeling exactly the same way and arrange a meet-up. Last Mother’s Day I went to a Frolo dinner in London and met the most incredible group of single mums who I lean on on a weekly basis for support.

This is a shout out to all the single mums who won’t get to see their children on Mother’s Day. Co-parenting can be incredibly tough sometimes, and if your ex is feeling particularly inflexible you might be without your kids. Book a Mother’s Day treat with the kids to look forward to when you get them back and please, oh please, spend this day doing something completely and utterly self-indulgent.

This is a shout out to all the single mums who never wanted to be single mums. Some people choose a life of solo parenting. Some have it enforced on them. Some have to make incredibly hard choices to escape difficult situations. If you didn’t picture your life this way, Mother’s Day can feel like a stark reminder that you’re doing it ‘wrong’ somehow. You’re not. You stayed. You’re doing the job of two people now. You are officially a superhero. Buy yourself a cape and keep flying high until Father’s Day because dammit, you deserve to celebrate that, too.

And finally, this is a shout out to my mum. Who taught me that not only can you survive being a single mum, you can be the very best mum there is, and graduate on to being the very best Grandma there is, too. Find your single parenting hero, whether it’s your own mum, a friend, a colleague or a celebrity and remember that they’ve been where you are, and not only survived but thrived.

Happy (single) Mother’s Day.

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